I'm borrowing the prompt from MariaCristina
pause, icy, train
The rain is back again.
But it lands as ice.
Ice covers everything.
The branches, the sidewalk.
I’ve been inside for too long;
But it’s too far to go.
And I don’t trust the streets,
The cars.
The people.
Maybe the ice is here to save me.
Keep me inside.
From facing what waits outside.
Frozen now.
Paused.
If I make my escape.
I can catch that train.
What the hell am I doing here?
The ice. I pause.
But it’s only temporary.
I’ll go soon.
Eventually.
Each train has my name.
I just have to choose.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
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15 comments:
I like this.
Each train has my name.
I just have to choose.
I like that sentiment... that you can be whoever or whatever you want... or go wherever.
Welcome to 3WW! :)
Welcome to Three Word Wednesday.
I thought you set the icy, cold scene very well. Why does it never seem to be sunny and bright when one is contemplating leaving?
Cause leaving is never easy. Isn't there a country music song in there somewhere?
Each train has my name - a fine phrase. Nice poem with vivid thoughts!
I like how u captured the delay, almost a reluctance, nicely composed.
Thanks so much for the comments, and encouragement.
I'm so glad you're doing the 3WW! You have a poet's soul, bun bun.
I sense that the narrator is afraid of the leaving, maybe because of the pause, the ice. I really like how the future is symbolized by the train. Anyone of them could be the train for you, it just depends on when and where you choose to leave. Great!
Welcome to 3WW! One great place to be in! I love your post!
Very well done!
Ah, so I see you got the ice rains too! Now I can console myself that it's not just this wretched province that gets all the bad weather. And every time it gets too icy for my liking, I'll think about your poem.
These are my favorite lines:
'I’ll go soon.
Eventually.
Each train has my name.
I just have to choose.'
But, maybe she could choose on a warmer day. Nice job. Keep up the good work. And, welcome to 3WW.
Hey bun bun! I'm tagging you for a meme about the alphabet. You write a positive adjective about yourself for each letter - very simple! I sort of changed it around on mine, but I explain how to do it on my site. Hope all is well for you.
One of my writing mentors, Foster Winans, said that weather is another character. I can feel in your poem how much we share about the weather, and how much I can feel your feelings. It's a great tool to connect reader with writer. Thanks.
Jerry Waxler
Memory Writers Network
wow. Thank you for the insight. Weather is its own character, isn't it.... It can get in our way, and affect our mood, among other things.
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